Kinhost dot Org


In some cases our blood-relations are fairly well-adjusted individuals who deserve our respect and love. In a community that overlaps with post-trauma victims so closely, however, the majority of us have problems with our unintentional families.

The sections about abuse cover the different types of trauma. This section is for the strained relations we have with family, the issues brought on by helplessness, dependency, the complications of non-abusive family members who ignored or failed to notice that something was different or wrong, or failed to act on it even though they noticed, etc.

When we are born we are helpless and these are the people we are forced to rely on for every aspect of our survival. Even once we can mainly fend for ourselves we are forced by society to remain dependent on our families for companionship, comfort, context, access to services, transportation, shelter, a hand-up into independence. They are not always helpful in our filling those needs.

Some multiples disown their families as soon as they possibly can. Some wish they could, would or had. Others have some ties to the family that they choose to maintain good relations with them, or have siblings they must care for, and they can't afford to break ties.

In the absence of a healthy birth family that is responsive to our needs, we sometimes seek out an intentional family.

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