Navigating Perception Problems and Cognitive Distortions
Impact of trauma on worldview
There is a complex aftermath from childhood abuse and exposure to dysfunctional family culture. It has a profound impact on one's perception of reality. The effects of inconsistent, abusive, manipulative, neglectful, and other detrimental role models, as well as their distorted world narratives that paint our worldview while under their power & control, can deeply undermine our ability to see and interpret the world around us accurately. These challenges of perception problems and cognitive distortions can persist well into adulthood.
A significant struggle plurals face is the distortion of our perception of reality due to the toxic patterns and messages we were exposed to in our childhood. The dysfunctional family culture we grew up in shapes our worldview and influences how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. People can be constantly bombarded with negative messages, such as being told we were not good enough, unworthy of love or respect, or that our perceptions and experiences were invalid. We may be told that these distortions are sanctioned from religious figures, deities, or government entities, whether or not this is true, a form of passing on responsibility for abuse to higher powers to deflect responsibility from caregivers. These toxic messages are reinforced through abusive behaviors, manipulation, gaslighting, and neglect, leading to distorted perceptions of reality.
As we grow into adulthood, survivors may come to realize that these distorted perceptions had become ingrained in our psyche and were affecting our thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in detrimental ways. We hear someone laugh and we think they're laughing at us. We misread a message from someone and feel ashamed. We automatically feel left out, or different, or isolated even when a group wants to include us. These are due to the distorted lenses we've been handed by our upbringing, that twist our perception of everyday interactions with the world.
Cognitive distortions are patterns of thinking that are irrational, biased, and inaccurate. Here's some examples.
Thinking in Extremes/Splitting
One example very common with C-PTSD is extremism, thinking in dichotomies or absolutes, also called "splitting" — all-or-nothing thinking, seeing situations as black or white without recognizing shades of gray. Splitting makes us think that things are either all-good, or all-bad or that we either succeed or we fail. We may tend to look for concrete facts to prove something right or wrong, and have a hard time accepting that perspective can change how something is perceived. We trust or distrust, rather than think in layers or nuances of how much we can trust, or situations or information types for which someone is trustworthy.
Other examples
We may reflexively self-blame, assume responsibility for everything that goes wrong, due to excessive blame-shifting onto the child in our abusive home.
We might feel unworthy of praise or success due to caregivers who undermined our pride & accomplishments or nitpicked over our mistakes and failures.
We can experience constant self-doubt, second-guessing our thoughts, feelings, and decisions, and had difficulty trusting ourselves or others due to an environment in which we were told what we think, how to feel, told what to do, robbed of choices, and where our attention was almost solely based on negative behavior and everything positive was overlooked or undermined.
Young children don't know how to process the world they perceive and take on how to process sensory information based on the culture and role-models around them — so cognitive distortions are fueled by learned perception problems, leading to a skewed view of reality that hinders our ability to navigate life in a healthy and empowered manner.
Working on Cognitive Distortions & Perceptual Challenges
Recognize and challenge cognitive distortions
- By becoming aware of our thought patterns and examining them critically, we may learn to identify and challenge our cognitive distortions.
- Ask yourselves whether something is true.
- Lean on headmates for differing points of view in challenging situations — there's already proof that there's different ways to view the same thing within our own system, even though we may not encompass every possible way to see something.
- Challenge negative self-talk.
- Actively replace irrational thoughts with more rational and balanced perspectives.
- If you're not certain if you're distorting reality, start to play games of perspective: How many ways can this situation be interpreted? Start to exercise the ability to change your personal lenses as an individual headmate.
Building a healthy internal culture
We realized the importance of building a healthy internal culture within our plural system. This involved fostering open and honest communication, practicing active listening and empathy, and creating a safe space for all our parts to express themselves without fear of judgment or invalidation. We worked on building mutual trust and respect among our parts, which helped us develop a more cohesive and aligned perception of reality.
Seeking external support
We reached out for external support, including therapy, counseling, and trusted friendships, to gain a fresh and objective perspective on our perceptions and beliefs. These external perspectives provided valuable feedback and helped us challenge our distorted perceptions, providing a more balanced view of reality.
Practicing self-compassion
We learned to practice self-compassion and self-care, acknowledging that our perception problems and cognitive distortions were not our fault but rather a result of the adverse experiences we had endured. We treated ourselves with kindness, understanding, and patience, allowing ourselves to make mistakes, learn, and grow without self-judgment or criticism.
Challenging dysfunctional narratives
We actively challenged the dysfunctional narratives and worldviews that had been ingrained in us from childhood. We sought alternative perspectives, educated ourselves about