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Onboarding Residents (024) Transcript

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<voices overlapping, music in background>
Oh! Good morning — oh! Do we have to get up?
Keep it down; I’m trying to sleep.
Yeah, we want to make that recording.
What are we going to record today?
What? What recording?
You know, the one about multiplicity.
You know, the usual — we’re trying to make a difference in the world or something.
Oh, yeah.
Well — I just really wanna help people!
I have no idea what to say.
I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there who have really good questions, and need really good answers.
Why talk to them? It’s not like anybody gives a shit.
Well what makes us an authority?
I don’t really think it matters how long we’ve been multiple, or how long we’ve known we’re multiple — we’re multiple!
<Aliessa laughs richly>

Onboarding residents. We want to talk about the process of helping stuck residents and residents who don't participate in external life, to help increase their ability to be in the here and now, learn how to communicate and become co-conscious. It's a big topic, and I'm not sure how much we'll be able to cover in under an hour. But if it's too big, we'll give other resources in the show notes to continue this process. We use a spaceship model, and so we have some terminology regarding different levels of residents in our system that's kind of based on terminology from spaceships. So we use kind of a crew terminology. We first were thinking, well, we can make this fun and make it a pirate ship, and then we thought, well, pirates aren't fun. What is fun? So we made it a spaceship and kind of more Star Trek meets Star Wars. We don't really sit on either side of the divide there. And we use crew terminology. So we have officers, crew, passengers, stowaways, and then we have rebels and recruits. Officers in our system are the people who generally front the most.

So when people talk about hosts, we don't have hosts, we have a bunch of officers. We're the people that take on the most of the responsibility for our external life. That's kind of our role in the system. There's plenty of other roles and important things that people do in here. And some of those other things are done by the crew. The crew are, how do we put it -- they are the co-conscious group that helps to make and enforce agreements in our system, and is kind of the support staff for the officers, as well as running a lot of things that are going on internally. And since generally, there's only one or a few officers on the bridge at a time, many of the officers also are our crew when they're not fronting.

So officers and crew can be found just about everywhere and crew can front but usually doesn't. So we can find crew members fronting or on the bridge, fulfilling different roles. In terms of being part of our front group, I guess, we don't just like only have one person in front. We actually have usually a team that is paying attention to external circumstances most of the time. So it's not just like one person in front. There's a bunch of us and we're kind of rotating duties and keeping an eye on each other. Then we have passengers who -- some of whom are very much in the here and now but not necessarily fully co-conscious or fully co-conscious but not necessarily all in the here and now, and they do not front as a general rule. They participate in internal meetings at times. They vote. They show up sometimes on the bridge, kind of a lot like a Star Trek episode. Sometimes the passengers will be on the bridge, sometimes they won't. But generally as a rule, they come and go as they please but don't have any particularly important roles in our system.

What can I say? I mean, that's really basically it. They are usually people who are being onboarded, still working on trauma or getting unstuck. They're mostly in the here and now or enough that they're not running around as stowaways in our crew, and the stairways are the people who are stuck. They're usually not in the here and now. They're stuck in there and then. They are afraid of the crew. They don't want to get caught. They are running around in the passageways in the back of our head. They're in the cargo bay. They're in the pipes, the ducts and stuff like that. Just like they're hiding someplace, and they have not decided to become part of the crew, or they may be so afraid of us that they don't even realize they could become part of the crew of the ship.

So part of our attention, I guess, goes towards trying to help them feel more comfortable becoming passengers eventually. And then we have rebels and recruits, which is basically two big camps of people in the system. The rebels are the people who have not really bought into our system agreements, and are still kind of rebelling against the crew and officers. We don't have a lot of those left at the moment, but we do have a couple. And then there's the recruits. The recruits are the people who have been on-boarded. They have agreed to our agreements. They helped make them and form them. They show up to meetings. Usually they're the officers and the crew, sometimes passengers will contribute and stuff like that without having been fully onboarded as crew of the ship. So that's our general, big divisions. Not divisions, but like roles within our system.

So you can be an officer and a rebel, you could be an officer and a recruit, although an officer and a rebel is kind of unusual, and so on. You could be a stowaway and kind of, I don't know. I guess you can't really be a recruit and a stowaway. But you can be a recruit, I mean a stowaway and a rebel. We came across this whole idea of onboarding process through what we went through as a teenager. We started out with a whole bunch of people who were stowaways. We had no idea we were plural. Sometimes plural language would slip in, and we were like, well, that's kind of odd. Why are we using we? Well, it must be the royal we. We were making excuses for things. We used to call ourselves "me, myself, and I" as if we were three different people. And we were, but we didn't know. But we were 14, maybe 15. So it was very close to when we actually awakened as plural, as we were like on the later end of 16 when we finally had the V8 moment and said, oh, I guess we are plural. Well, we didn't use that word, but you know, it's like, oh, there's a lot of us in our head. And we're not all human. So around then, we started out with a whole lot of stowaways, everybody hiding from each other. And although it wasn't conscious all the time, there was a process of trust building and like auto writing to our friends in our letters to our friends -- this was back in the 80s, by the way, people, so you know, we didn't have like text messages. You would write on a little tiny piece of paper and throw it across the room to your friend, and then they would like read it and hopefully you didn't get caught by the teacher. So you couldn't like be under the desk, like texting your friends or anything like that. You had to actually like pass notes.

So we used to write really long letters to our friends, and bring them to school and they would read them and things like that. So we had people who were auto writing. In other words, they would take over the pen, and they would write, and we'd be watching. You know, whoever was front was watching this pen write stuff that we weren't telling it to write. And that's one of the reasons that we came eventually to believe that we were a spiritually based system and open our mind up to the idea of spiritual stuff, because back then the other people that were auto writing were all like channelers and stuff like that. So we thought maybe we were channeling for a while. We were like 15 to 16, and we thought we were channeling and yeah. Had our Shirley MacLaine moments, I guess. We didn't really know that much about it, except maybe like some talk show or something. So we had our V8 moment and realized that we were a group of people in here, and people started introducing themselves by flashing their face or their body or whatever, like a scene basically of them from the outside of their body. They would like flash us this picture of what they look like and introduce themselves by name, and we would get to know them. It started out with just a couple of people and eventually like over that summer, like it was probably sometime March or April that the first people were introducing themselves. And then that summer, we ended up with eight total. And there was like a pause for a moment at eight. But by the fall, we had 16. Yeah, we had 16 by fall. We accidentally, incidentally or accidentally, built a welcoming committee right from the beginning.

So there was the observer, who came to be called Christina, and then the people that were introducing themselves. So one would think Christina was the front at the time, or the host or whatever, and then other people, but it turns out that these other people had been running a significant amount of our life. It wasn't like I thought I was the host and that this was all my life and these were intruders. It was that we had already been doing a round robin, and had not realized it. Aliessa had a significant portion of our front time, for example, and she's a tree nymph, and she was one of the first eight people to introduce themselves. And we actually probably, in terms of the building system trust episodes, which are episodes 9 to 14 of the podcast, she had done a significant amount of the compromising trust in our system, and that might actually be why we had a dark ages of not knowing that we were plural, because she had been acting out and causing all kinds of train wrecks in our life. And one of the reasons we -- probably one of the reasons that we awakened that spring, this is the beginning of 1986 -- One of the reasons that we had woken up was because she got fed up with her own behavior and her own acting out and decided to change her ways and be more honest and aboveboard about what she was doing.

So in terms of discussing the differences between when we compromise or undermine the trust in our system, and when we build trust in our system, and how that affects other headmates, we couldn't live with ourselves as a group, on a totally unconscious level, we could no longer live with ourselves and the things that we had been doing. So around like, January to February, probably February of 1986, we were completely fed up. We kind of hit rock bottom, if you will, and decided we were going to change, and most of that decision came from Aliessa. And Aliessa decided to be radically honest. And we've been radically honest pretty much since. We don't have any need or reason to lie about anything. We just are flat, blunt, truthful, honest. Sometimes it hurts, sorry. But it's just better than fabricating anything. And we had spent a number of years fabricating stuff, acting out, and breaking hearts and hurting ourselves in the process. And, you know, we were 16 years old and had our wakeup moment, and decided that was not good and we were not going to do that anymore, repaired a good deal of the trust in our system, and decided we were going to be different and not do that anymore. So that set up kind of a cascade of things starting to fix themselves internally, and kind of like an awakening before the awakening. So we actually had like many layers of awakening, because we already were auto writing, talking about ourselves in third person, acknowledging me, myself, and I being at least three people in the system and trading off front. So we had like at least four rotating fronts, if not more, by that time, undermined each other's integrity and behavior, and then decided we would be radically honest, and that started healing the broken trust in our system. And then it just was like, well, it's time. It's time to be so radically honest with ourselves that we admit that we're not just one person in here. So that happened.

So all this is to say that we kind of went back when thinking about how to help people with onboarding folk in their system. We dug deep and figured out a method based on some of this and what we know from other people and their systems, and how they've introduced themselves to each other, and how they worked on -- once they realized that things weren't working, how they worked to patch things up and fix things in their system. So we worked on the United Front boot camp in 2011, based on all of that type of information, dug really deep, figured out like, if you're going to make this into a process, what would it look like? and wrote it out. So obviously, our process that we've written up doesn't have to be everybody's process. People can find their own way. It is one of many different ways of doing this. But it has been successful, not just for us, but for other people who have read through the blog, and it is helpful for people. So it may help people. You can take parts of it and leave parts of it behind and stuff like that. So it's kind of like a mix and match kind of thing that you can use parts of and not use all of, but it's very helpful.

So if you've gone through the 30 day onboarding residents thing at the United Front boot camp, then you may not need this podcast, or maybe the history part of it is interesting to you. But we're gonna dig more into helping stuck residents because we don't go into that enough in the boot camp. We kind of gloss over that. So we want to really dig more into what happens with the stuck people and how do we help the people that are having more trouble becoming co-conscious? And that's basically what we're doing here today.

So how do you find the stuck people in your system so that you can help them? You work on internal communication. Now, the lovely thing about working on internal communication is that communication in and of itself is one of the many ways that you can help people get unstuck. It's kind of like, which comes first the communication or the getting somebody unstuck? It can be either one. So finding them is important, and we have an article on how to ping a resident. Pinging is something in the computer world where one computer kind of reaches out electronically and says, "Hey, are you there?" to another computer, and then that computer, if it hears it, sends it back. And so it's kind of like a ping pong ball. It sends it out, and it comes back. So there's a ping, and it's just a matter of kind of aiming a query in the right direction or at the right resident, and saying, "Hey, are you there?", and them sending some kind of a signal back. And that signal is just an affirmative. You know if it's negative, and they say "no, I'm not here", then you know, they're there too. But generally, it's a "Hey, are you there?" and you get some kind of a response. And that response can be physical, it can be sensory, it can be a knowing, it can be a voice, it can be anything, any kind of communication. And so this kind of roundtrip circuit of you broadcasting some kind of a signal, and then receiving it back is a full communication cycle in that something is sent and received. Whether or not the person on the other end has given you their name is unimportant. You can just say, like, picture them and send the signal or something. We go more into it in the article on communication techniques, which will be linked in the show notes.

The next step is a roll call. Usually, with a roll call, you have some kind of name or designation for the person in question, you have a list of residents in your system, and you send out a ping. "Hey, Joe, are you there?" And Joe says, "Yeah, I'm here." And so you can then check them off as an attendance list of sorts. Or you can do a roll call where it's like a quickie vote. And you can like just quickly, like go through a list, snap, snap, snap, go down the list and like get a yea or nay answer from people. So if they don't answer, they don't want it. If they do answer they want it. You know, however you set it up with your system, but you can take very quick votes with a roll call.

And one of the things that we're talking about a lot, and you'll see it on the communication techniques page, is talking about listening. Communication doesn't happen when somebody sends a message. Communication happens when it's received. A miscommunication is when a message is received incorrectly. When it's misheard, it's a miscommunication. And if a communication fails, somebody sends the communication but it's never received, it's a missed communication, m-i-s-s-e-d, missed communication, in which case it's the attempt to broadcast but nobody's there. It's the "if the tree falls in the forest and nobody hears it, does it make a sound?" It doesn't matter that you tried to communicate. A communication didn't happen, because nobody heard you. So if you just are yelling into the wind, nothing's happening. It's not a communication; it's yelling. So these are like three very basic things like the pain and the roll call and then whether or not you receive a message. These are like very foundational communication skills in a system. Usually, when people are thinking about communication, they're thinking about a full on verbal communication, and these don't have to be verbal. Your ability to listen to a message being sent does not depend on words. It depends on whether or not you hear.

So like, if your dog's tail is wagging, assuming you have a dog, but you get the idea -- if your dog's tail is wagging, there are no words, but you know your dog is happy. That's a communication, and it was received.

So you get communication all the time from the world that doesn't have to be verbal, doesn't have to be words, and you receive the message.

So when we're communicating with stuck residents, sometimes we get a little too focused on the broadcast and forget to receive the message. The idea is that it's important for us to understand the messages being sent regardless of whether or not we've asked for a communication from the person. I think people get really hyper focused on "I want to be able to give my message to that other person" and forget that communication is about listening and receiving. So when we're talking or when we're looking to have a communication with a stuck resident, sometimes we're missing a communication that's already there. That song playing in the back of your head, that can be a stuck resident that is sending you a message, maybe the song lyrics matter. Maybe the song name matters. Maybe they're changing the lyrics in your head, so maybe listening to how they're changing the lyrics to fit whatever it is their mood is. It could be the mood of the music. Like that could be a communication.

So are we receptive to the communications already going on? We may be running around saying we can't communicate with people in our head. And what we really mean is they're not listening to us when we broadcast. And what's really going on is they're sending us a whole lot of messages through their behavior, through their emotions, through the things that they're flashing in our head, the visual stuff that they're flashing, the sounds they're making, their tail wagging. They're sending us all kinds of communication all the time. And we're being so self centered, that we think that communication only happens when we broadcast, that we're not stopping to listen to them broadcasting to us. And we're not listening.

So it's extremely important for us to listen to our fellow residents and accept the communication that they're sending us at their level at this time. Maybe eventually, they'll get words, maybe they won't. Maybe all they have is sign language or emoting or knowing, like they're sending mind speak or just handing you information. And maybe that's enough. Like we don't necessarily have to have words. It's very external centric, singular centric, thinking that communication has to have words. It's very ableist and very limiting. The communication may already be there. We just have to be receptive to it.

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So when we actually take the time to listen to our residents and the communications they're already sending to us, we may realize that some of them are ready to be co-conscious or ready to be rescued. While some of them may need persuasion or assistance to get unstuck. So in other words, we might be able to find volunteers, and others need to be recruited. So we were lucky enough to have a bunch of people volunteer way back when in like March or April of 1986, when people started showing us their faces and showing up at meetings and -- well actually even having meetings in the first place -- but we started having people just showing up. That's volunteering. Meanwhile, there are other times we've had people who were so stuck, we had to go and find them and help them out. And that's recruiting. Or we may have to actually even rescue them, which is a rescue mission.

So there are many ways that internal folk can be stuck. We couldn't even possibly begin to cover some of the ways they can get stuck in this episode. But you can generally get the idea of them being stuck by how they're interpreting the here and now. If you're constantly getting repeat behavior, repeat messages, the same kinds of feelings coming up, and the same misinterpretation of events and things like that, they're probably stuck in a particular event or occurrence or emotion. So you can kind of tell that they're stuck. They're not aware of the here and now, and the more you communicate with them, the more you'll realize that the things they're sending are flipped or twisted, or they're seen through certain color glasses, and everything is kind of distorted. That's usually somebody who's stuck. And in addition to just communicating with them, other things that can be helpful are working on presence, which includes grounding, but not necessarily grounding into your body, but at least getting closer to your body or into the here and now, being present in the room with your body. That's what we mean by presence work, being present with your body. Working on compassion in your system can help, working on your honesty and integrity, ensuring your safety in the here and now. In terms of the honesty, integrity, that's the building trust cycles that we talked about in Episode 14, like reducing your internal conflict, lowering your anxiety level, increasing your system safety, working on internal relationship healing, making it increasingly safe for people to come forward and unhook from the past. Thing is that the past may feel safe to them because it's familiar. They're used to the strife and the problems from the past, so they cling to it, like "I know how to handle this. Even if it's painful, I know how to handle it." By making the here and now more attractive than the there and then, then you might be able to convince them to come forward. Or if they know that you're so trustworthy, that you'd help take care of them, then they might be able to let go of those things and come into the here and now.

So these become very important. And notice, we're not saying forgiving your aggressors or your abusers. We're saying, making the here and now safe. It's different things. You are 100% entitled to your anger and your sadness, and so on. But you don't have to be reliving the past in order to have sadness or anger about the past. It's two different things.

So hopefully, they can like let go of being in the there and then and come to the here and now so that then they can look back rather than be back there. A little different, like looking at it, than living it.

So rescue missions. So we were saying recruiting somebody who's ready to be helped into the present in the here and now versus a rescue mission. So recruiting somebody would be going into an easy to get to area of your head and, you know, helping them maybe Band Aid up some wounds and having a heart to heart talk with them or helping convince them that it's safe in the here and now and so on. The relatively -- I mean relative to what we're about to talk about -- relatively easier to get to and easier to have conversation, versus the rescue mission which is you practically have to go into the there and then yourself, and so you kind of go on an adventure. And it may be in your headspace. It may be depicted as a cave, a basement, an attic, another city or a town or off in the woods, or somewhere outside of your normal fronting space, like areas outside of your normal headspace sometimes, but it could be somewhere like within a big house, often a dark corner somewhere. But usually there's kind of a Raiders of the Lost Ark kind of feel to it. You know, you have to go through different challenges and trials to get to them. Maybe free them from a trap, or some kind of snare or a jail or something. You have to free them from something and help them back out again. For all of that kind of work, whether you're recruiting, or if you're rescuing, always ask for permission. Like, we asked for permission before doing our big rescue mission a couple years ago. We asked for permission before doing it. But also once we arrived, and we got through the trials, and we were there with the person, we asked again if they wanted to be rescued, and we brought with us inner world objects, we thought it would be helpful for them. Like if we couldn't rescue them, and they weren't ready to come back with us, we could leave some things with them to help them feel better.

So it might be blankets or stuffies, or a compass or a map to get back or a flashlight, a lantern. You know, it could be like things of assistance and comfort and supplies and food. And so whatever it is that you might leave with them, you might bring with you to leave there. And a map is always a good idea in case they want to come back, you know, they can follow you out. Even if it's months or years later, they can come out on their own because they had a map. Somebody left a two way radio, which is a great idea. So like communication tools or devices could be left behind and so on. And that's only if they don't come back with you. The other thing that we found useful was bringing several people down to find them when we did the rescue mission because it actually turned out somebody -- one of the kids did not like somebody who was in a rescue party. Like they actively spat at them, and if that had been the only person to go down there, they would not have come out.

So having had like five or six people, I think it was at least six, but we had like at least five or six of us go down to do the rescue mission. So it was helpful because they ended up not liking one of them. But we have some more information about rescue missions. But it's still kind of new for us to talk about it, so we don't have like tremendous amount of resources about it yet. But we will be working on that because we're going to do some more rescue missions on our own. But also we have other resources that we can tap into for information on rescue missions as well.

So things that you might do when you're either recruiting or rescuing include things like just an offer to sit with them for a while or attempting to talk through some of the things that they're experiencing, or talking to them about the here and now and what's going good about it, like why would it be better to be there than here and stuff like that. Now that may sound like -- and we're thinking about this, but that may sound like it's trauma work. And we don't really consider that trauma work. We consider that co-consciousness work or presence work. They're stuck in the past in the there and then and you're helping them get to the here and now. We're not resolving their trauma. We're getting them unstuck from it, but the trauma's still there. I want to make that clear, like we're not healing the trauma by doing this. But we are helping them to get closer to front to get unhooked from the looping and repeat messages that are going through their head to get them a little more out of the stuckness and the PTSD and so on and get them more liberated. I mean, you know, there you go. There's like the name of our coaching business, but liberated life coaching, you know, it's like -- Yeah, so we think it's really important to even realize that you could do this. And you can do this with a therapist. It is being done in a very plural way, when you go into your inner world and do it, you know, it's like, not how they might consider doing it, but maybe they would. Some therapists might recommend things like this.

So in terms of the United Front boot camp, and the United Front books, especially Recruits, the basic overall onboarding technique, is to start out with compassion and tolerance and being trustworthy, then to start having open door meetings. And when you're meeting, if at all possible to broadcast what's going on system-wide. Like the whole idea is not to have secrets, like how can you be trustworthy and have a closed door meeting? If you need to talk secrets about other head mates, then you're not being trustworthy. Like everything should be aboveboard, documented openly for the people in your head. Not for people outside of your system, but for at least the people in your system. You can talk about whatever you want to or don't want, you know, if you don't want to withhold it from your therapist, that's up to you. But in terms of your system, if you have a closed door meeting, they're probably going to know what's going on anyway. There are no secrets inside of our head, it's all being recorded on the same hardware. Like it's kind of like trying to share the same phone with somebody and then expecting them not to see your phone call list. You know, it's just like it doesn't work.

So when you're going to have a meeting, broadcast the invitation to everybody. Hold the meeting with an open door in case somebody changes their mind and wants to show up during the meeting. Have a welcoming committee. Have an orientation. Maybe assign a buddy system, like when somebody's new, maybe somebody who's been around for a while can buddy up with them and help show them the ropes, if you will. So that they can learn a little bit faster, what's going on and how to front and what to do when front and who those people are out there and what my relationship is with those people and things like that. Like to be as transparent as possible and to help onboard people faster, do a buddy system.

So in our system, we will onboard people, so we end up with like a stowaway, and then they become a passenger. And if they -- like we kind of do some assessments. We decide how co-con this person is, how in the here and now they are, what their aptitudes are and so on. And if they seem like a good candidate to be a crew member or an officer, then we will actually do the buddy system for fronting more often or give them a trial run of fronting and get used to them being front and see what they're like as a fronter. We did this with Justin a few weeks ago, actually a couple months ago now. But we did this with Justin during the 2020 plural positivity World Conference. Justin did a great job presenting. We were perfectly happy with him as, you know, a front. But then it turned out that he had a physiological issue with sugar and he had low boundary issues with the kids in the back, so they were able to kind of dupe him a lot. They duped him into buying sweets at the beginning of the conference, and you know he was eating them when the rest of us probably wouldn't have because he had a high susceptibility to passive influence. So they were kind of making him do things. He was like their puppet. Between that and the sugar reaction, you know, like they were eating the sugar and then he was reacting really poorly to it, we decided maybe he's not a great candidate for front just for physiological issues and until he can have better boundaries, and we're gonna do boundary work with him. But these are the kinds of things that we do. Like a couple years ago when Buck aged up and we're like "Oh you're fully co-con now. Would you like to front? You seem like a good front candidate. Here you go. Take front for a while." So he ended up fronting for the most of a year. I mean not like only front but he was like the go-to front or the main front for like a year.

So we will like give people a trial run, see how they do, and the longer they do a good job, the more they get responsibility if they want it. And if they don't like it, and they don't want it, then they don't have to do it. So we also look at their interests, like if they're not somebody interested in fronting. So we were the Board Chair of independent living at the time, and one of Bucks really special interests is social activism. So he was really actually enjoying being a front during that time, although he was like breaking into total sweats trying to run meetings. And then we had Drendel doing the meetings. I don't know, it was just this mess. But anyway, it worked out in the end. So now Buck is a fully like onboarded, Officer of the Crisses crew and can take front pretty much at any time and do things. And the worst that we end up with is having to pull his Twitter card because he will argue with people. But he doesn't mind because he doesn't want to like, you know, argue with people. I mean, he likes it. At the same time, he doesn't want to do it. So yeah, he likes arguing.

When we onboard a new resident, so what that really means is they go from stowaway to passenger. So now they're a resident, rather than just, what do you wanna call it, a squatter or a, you know, just somebody like running around in the back. But they actually have a room and quarters. At that point, they become passenger. And they can attend meetings and things like that. That's when we decide whether or not there's any agreements that need to be changed for that resident. Like, is there anything here that is going to cause them a problem, that they have needs that can't be filled with the current agreements? Or are there additional agreements we need to put into place to protect them? Like there's some kind of behavior that might bother them or things we need to avoid as far as triggers go, or anything like that. We do that during the onboarding process, and figure out whether there's anything that needs to be renegotiated based on that resident. And then how much and when folk get to front is determined on their agreement to our internal rules and agreements or the assessments that we do. Like how good is this person at fronting? So that person may front and we find that they're not so good at it, or they can't run our business, or they can't drive. You know, we pass around skills easily in this system, but that's not true of everybody. But in here we do. And so you know, it would be unusual if somebody couldn't type or couldn't read, couldn't drive, couldn't pick up the phone and answer it, you know, things like that, although Moonlight doesn't talk. And neither does Nikki, but Nikki doesn't front either.

So we look at like those kinds of things, like, who's nonverbal? Who's verbal? Who's able to mask their voice and use the Criss mask? Who's not? And we determine like, who can front when, and how often, depending on all those things. Like if somebody was depleting our spoons too fast, they wouldn't be able to front as often as somebody who replenishes our spoons faster or who's contributing to our work or cleaning the house like Lissie. Lissie gets more time than most of the kids do, but Lissie is spending that time like cleaning our kitchen and cooking and taking care of our plants. And so, you know, it's not like she's coloring all day. Not to say that coloring is not as important, but the plants are living things that if nobody waters them, they will die. So they need care. And so Lissie is taking care of them.

So you know, that time kind of gets comped I guess is how you might look at it. It's like that time doesn't really count towards her recreational time. And then the last part, I guess, you know, kind of happens throughout all this, is our documentation gets updated. If we get a new name, it gets added to our roll call list. If we get more information than that they get like a whole webpage and we put a little profile on it. If if we do any headmap updates, then the new people get put on it.

So we go to our roll call list and make sure that everybody's included on the headmap. Hopefully this gives people an idea of both the onboarding process for helping people get up to speed on what's going on in terms of your system, and your life in the here and now and your life external to your body. As well as helping stuck residents get unstuck and some of the ways that that may work, and how increasing co-consciousness goes like hand in hand with increasing communication, presence, and being trustworthy in your system so that people are more attracted to being in the here and now than in the there and then. And I'm sorry, we're "uh"ing a lot.

And that said, I think we're going to end because we're at about 50 minutes.

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