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The Reboot (000) Transcript

Audio Episode New

<voices overlapping, music in background>
Oh! Good morning — oh! Do we have to get up?
Keep it down; I’m trying to sleep.
Yeah, we want to make that recording.
What are we going to record today?
What? What recording?
You know, the one about multiplicity.
You know, the usual — we’re trying to make a difference in the world or something.
Oh, yeah.
Well — I just really wanna help people!
I have no idea what to say.
I’m sure there’s a lot of people out there who have really good questions, and need really good answers.
Why talk to them? It’s not like anybody gives a shit.
Well what makes us an authority?
I don’t really think it matters how long we’ve been multiple, or how long we’ve known we’re multiple — we’re multiple!
<Aliessa laughs richly>

Welcome to Many Minds on the Issue, the podcast about dissociative identity disorder, by and for multiples, hosted by the Crisses. Good morning, everybody. This is the Crisses. And welcome to Many Minds on the Issue. I wanted to give you a little bit of an introduction to what I'm doing and why, so that you can anchor yourself into this podcast and decide what you want to get from it. It is now 2017. It is May first and it is 6:24am Eastern. Here we are in the morning on the day we want to publish our podcast. And we look at first episode, which was published in 2005. And it's okay, I guess. But does it really represent who we are now and what we need people to know? I'm not sure. So I wanted to do a brief episode, hopefully brief that anchors you today. Because the next episode is going back 13 years, right? We want you to have a little bit of an anchor in today, so that you have some perspective. In 1996, when I first came online, I created a website. And on that website, I laid it all out. I put the origin stories and past life memories of people in my head. I was open on that very, very young internet. Note the internet, as we know it today as a visual, a visual medium had only been around two years at that point. We're in the middle of the internet boom, we had people paying 1000s, tens of 1000s of dollars for websites, and I had my tiny little website on AOL. So my first website started way back then, with all these origin stories and talking about being multiple. And people started finding it, believe it or not, you know, even back then. I got a little bit of fan mail. I expanded on it. And it just kept evolving for the next several years. Then in 1998, so a couple of years later, I found the otherkin community, which to me was actually probably more important to me than finding another multiple. Because that was a big gap in my life, knowing anybody else who really seriously thought they were not human was a huge relief. I mean, I had found a person here and there, but never a community. Multiples are a community, right? So each each multiple is a community in, in their head. So I found communities before in multiples, but I had never really found a community, an external community of people who thought they were non-human. So in 1998, I found them. They were, let's say, tentatively open to people who are multiple with otherkin in their head. And basically, I guess I helped squish some of the—we'll call it bad karma left behind by other people and establish a place in the otherkin community for people who were multiples or hosts, as we call them. So that gave birth to and a couple of lists. I ran and otherkin list, a new otherkin list, a list for advanced topics within otherkin-ness. And I ran a host list - a list for people who are multiple and otherkin. came out of that. It's about 360+ pages on multiplicity. A good half of them are stuff about me in my own head, off in my own little section. And then the main bulk of the sauce is about 200 pages of information and questions about multiplicity and hosting walk-ins, and so on. So dealing with depersonalization, dealing with dissociation, dealing with people in your head, coming to agreements, etc. Head maps and rules and internal landscapes and describing what they are - it's more encyclopedic than self, self-help. But people would go in and read dozens and dozens of pages and come out and send me an email and say, "Oh, my God, I just got lost in there for two hours. This is terrific. It's helping me understand my wife, it's helping me understand my husband. I've been newly diagnosed, and this is wonderful, etc, etc, etc." Even though it went, let's say, out of bounds for most of psychology, it's common enough for our guardians not to be human - humans keep hurting us. So sometimes, for whatever reason—okay, I look at things in, from multiple directions. Not a very big surprise, right? So science and psychology would say, "Well, of course, you invented a dragon to be your guardian, because humans keep hurting you. So you make something stronger than humans, right?" So that's psychology's point of view. And then there's a spiritual, esoteric, pagan-ish kind of view, which is, you summon or you called up or you invited in a spirit that's not human, to help you deal with humans. What—however you want to look at it. Or you were reborn into this body from another place and time. So it doesn't matter really, as long as you're functional. Okay, that's going to be a big theme going on here.

Oh, another thing that really bears mention, because this is one of my core philosophies, and I'm going to repeat it here in there is the idea of As Inside, So Outside, And Vice Versa. Things that going on inside of my head are reflected in external reality. Things that go on an external reality are reflected in my head. Okay, so either way. So if my desk is messy, it's probably because my head is messy, that type of thing. Or if my head is messy, if I'm anxious and having trouble, well, then it's gonna start getting reflected in my environment as I leave things around and forget things or miss appointments and so on. Another thing with As Inside, So Outside that's very seminal, is how we treat others - we being the people in my body - how we treat people outside of our body is reflected in the internal environment. Those who are not co conscious can still see and perceive how we, the other people in my head, the conscious people, are treating people. If we treat people in a bad way outside of our body, our internal buddies, who may not be quite so advanced in, in communication with us, will see it. They'll see us treating somebody poorly, and they'll be afraid of us. We can't abuse people outside of our body. We can't be mean to people outside of our body, because they'll take it personally. They'll see it and they'll get afraid of us. We treat everybody as if they're in us, and we treat everybody in us as though they're outside of us. Without exception. It's extremely important for us to be respectful of people. So that when we issue invitations to the people inside of us who have not bought in to our agreements, we want them to see that we're trustworthy, we want them to see that we treat people fairly, we want them to see that we're respectful of others.

So that's a very important part of our philosophy- As Inside, So Outside, And Vice Versa. Everything transfers. This is—our boundaries are permeable. Here we go. Here's another concept. Because we have been abused, we have holes in our boundary system. And as much as we've repaired them, repairing your boundaries with a stiff wall or with armor is not healthy. What is healthy is a permeable membrane - a membrane through which you can you can say "That's okay, that can pass through, and that's not okay that can't pass through." So that's another thing we should go into during an episode, is boundary systems in how we work with them. I've written a lot about empathy, which I think is a sidebar to permeable or broken boundary systems. So empathy is another one. So we have a lot of knowledge, we have a lot of different topics to talk about on the podcast. And then on top of that, we have about, I think about 40-50, 40 or 50 articles in the boot camp that are important to address in audial medium. Now, what's great is not every multiple system, or not everybody in a multiple system is equally literate. So I may use vocabulary that they don't understand, but at least for the podcast, they don't have to read. So this now takes base of information and the boot camp and puts it into an audio form, into audio, so that whoever's listening, maybe some others behind them are listening in, and maybe they'll get some of what we're doing.

So since I'm pressed for time this morning, I really want to get this first zero episode out, telling you about the podcast and who I am and what I'm doing. I'd like to get this wrapped up pretty quickly. So we're the Crisses. We have been out of the closet multiples since 1986. Sometimes popping into the closet for work purposes and so on. But, you know, at this point, even out of the closet in the business world. Coming out to more and more people, coming out online, coming out on Facebook. And I call it coming out of the storage facility, because if, if a witch is coming out of the broom closet and gay people coming out of the closet, etc. well, what's a multiple? We're coming out of the storage facility, we've got a lot of doors. [Laugh] Not just got one. So coming out of the storage facility yet again, and I'm, I'm a very spiritual person, depending on who I am. I'm a very spiritual person and I like to say "bless you", not from any particular religion. Okay, we're an interfaith minister, and we're eclectic pagan. So our blessing is a spiritual blessing, not a religious one. So we'd like to say bless you, and everybody who has helped you through your life. Everybody. Every single one of you. And boy, it's going to be an absolutely beautiful day. I want you to have peace. And I want you to sit down. If you can, sit down with each other and talk. Have a kumbaya moment, hold hands and sing a song, I don't care. But if even just two of you can talk to one another, then it will be a wonderful day for you too.

Thanks for joining us for this episode of Many Minds on the Issue. Your Patreon support will keep this podcast coming. You can find more information, resources, and our Patreon link at K-I-N-H-O-S-T-dot-org