Stuck-Front
AKA being front-stuck.
This article is a Stub.
This can often be related to depersonalization. Someone gets stuck in front and can no longer switch due to either having been triggered front in some way, or because of anxiety issues.
- Emotional. Rebel got a Dear John and he froze [in front]. It was funny, you do the funky hand jive and it just did not work. It happened for about a day. A co-worker was sympathetic, and kind of knew what was going on, and suggested we take the day off. It's almost like being paralysed, you know you should be able to move, but you can't. You did the right combination; the tumblers fell into place, and, nothing. --Miss3
Something happens, and suddenly someone is front and can't step aside for someone else to take over. Often there's anxiety involved (cf. Rebel's reciept of a "Dear John" mentioned above) and the panic stops people from being able to switch.
The anxiety connection becomes even more significant as the people become aware of the situation. The realization that something is wrong, and that you cannot switch, is enough to make members of the system even more anxious. This can prolong the situation, and perhaps even make it worse.
A key to getting unstuck can be finding ways to become more present New, lowering anxiety, working on allowing New as a skill, or mentoring one another by using a Buddy System New at least temporarily to help guide someone who is stuck out of front.
Sometimes there's a period of time where a system is under high stressors, or triggered. We might revert to "tried and true" methods of system-wide protection, not because specific headmates consciously "want" to lock down the system, but because the background system (analogous to the subconscious or the autonomic nervous system) has memorized this system-wide pattern as a self-protective "habit".
So our inner world may shift to opaque walls, depersonalized fogs, internal communication methods may be hampered or even seem to disappear, co-consciousness may wane for portions of the system. We are suggesting that this isn't due to meddling of any specific headmates, nor due to a failure of the co-conscious system in terms of making progress -- but a factor of the self-protective mechanisms of the system as a whole and working to lower SUDS i.e. working on presence and lowering stressors should help the system regain their former levels of fronting ease and communication, co-consciousness and information sharing. It will be helpful for those who retain consciousness (those stuck-front) and those who end up in the fog or amnesia to maintain a sense of belonging and welcoming, inclusion and trust -- rather than getting frustrated, blaming, panicking or withdrawing and isolating. It may raise abandonment issues, or feel like someone has betrayed you.
Please have patience as our systems are all unique and don't come with owners' manuals. The most important internal regulating mechanisms we have found all circle around managing shame New internally. So maintaining a welcoming, forgiving, understanding, patient, trusting environment can help bounce back faster.
Our suggestion: when a headmate (or a group) gets stuck in front, it can be distressing for everyone. Notice the stuck-ness and the distress, then work to affirm that this is an undesirable situation for everyone and do what you can to mitigate the stressors and triggers that may have gotten y'all there. Reduce shame by increasing a sense of belonging, inclusion, rank and status. Avoid blame and shame, perfectionism, or thinking of things in black & white like "right" and "wrong" or "mistakes". Once the incident is resolved, y'all can "postmortem" the situation i.e. go over how it happened, what helped, what made things worse, and start to come up with strategies to shorten the length of discomforts if it happens again in the future.
A good tool for logging resources and methods for managing stressors and triggers is to create a system safety plan. We have a free online course for creating one, including downloads & printables here.