The Signs You Missed
Sharing the signs that you now know were there so that others might figure it out sooner.
There seems to be some mistaking that DID or OSDD or plurality or multiplicity develops suddenly when you're older — so all the pain and trauma, then some incubation period, and suddenly there's other people.
But many of us can look back and see the signs, and some of those signs should be obvious to onlookers.
But these signs aren't talked about. How can parents know if their child is experiencing dissociation, is being abused, or is experiencing recurring trauma? Let's give folk a hand-up with a combination of subjective and objective "Tells" for what the developing disorder or syndrome looks like before they slap labels on it.
For researchers, therapists, experts, etc. — Frank Putnam specialized in Dissociative Disorders in children & adolescents and has a book on it. The ISST-D has guidelines for the treatment of DID in children and adolescents. Get your head out of a hole — this is not just a disorder of adults and late teens who have seen things on TV or been exposed to iatrogenic DID.
Family stories show that our parents could have easily seen that stuff was happening and that we were growing up in pain, with trauma, and becoming or already plural, but chose to ignore it.
They would constantly bring up how our "personality suddenly changed when we were 5 years old." Can't tell you how often that was brought up when talking to other adults within our earshot, or said to our face.
Told to us by our egg donor's best friend, confirmed by egg donor: Our egg donor and her best friend sat around a table going why my personality would change, and going over whom of all the extended contacts might be sexually or physically abusing us. And the person we remember who was was on the list. But they did nothing to stop it (and if you have a list, that's already an issue).
We stopped all displays of affection to our parents before age 7, another thing they would often hold up as how "something was wrong".
Report cards from school came home with comments every quarter saying "daydreams too much." That wasn't daydreaming, assholes, that was dissociation.
At age 7 we fired our babysitter, went home, demanded a key from our parents and became a latchkey child. We remembered firing our babysitter when we were 13. Parents story of us demanding a key pieced together with it. We were hella dissociated, it was the first time someone definitely switched into full front that we're 100% certain of, and they deliberately erased our memories of what had been happening.
If you have signs that the adults and caregivers in your life overlooked — let us know in the comments.