Hey, my friend is coming over...
July 11, 2011, at 02:07 PM
I have my moments, just like you might. Slip up, say things I shouldn't. Maybe offend someone. Nothing terribly unusual. But when we cross the line and disrespect another resident's friends, we might damage their relationships irrevocably.
We have a specific house rule that we're not allowed to mess around with each other's relationships. No one wants to ever hear "I'm sorry that you got hurt, but it wasn't me, it was some other bozo in my head."
So don't have that bozo moment. No other person residing in your head should have permission to have a fight with your friends, to mess around with your partner or spouse, etc. unless they have a relationship with these people, and the parameters of the relationships includes caring about the outcome.
When 5 people in my head have different types and degrees of relationship with my best friend, then they can have any and all important interactions with my best friend. If someone who doesn't like people and known to be an annoying brat is out, then we should distance ourself from that best friend. It's deep doo-doo territory, time-out territory. We keep an eye on who is front and what they do if they're around people who are important to us. We consider this to be part of enforcing a house rule and so it's a group responsibility to keep an eye out for it.
Hold a meeting and discuss your relationships with others and whether any of those relationships and potential interactions need oversight.