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Criss' Ongoing Obituaries

These are people I shared varying degrees of closeness with before their death, listed in a sort of arbitrary order. They are all important to me. Ever since Rusty died, I have been particularly touched by death, and awed by its absolute finality. The thought of never seeing even one of these people again (until perhaps after I myself die) is mindboggling. I think I grew up thinking that death was reversable. That's screwed up, huh? It's not that I don't believe in my mind that death is final, but that I just can't get my heart to believe it.

P. V. G. - died April 28, 1986
Soulmate, he transformed my life before he died (at 19), and after it as well. 'Nuff said.
John Kohler-Britton - died August 2, 1996
I loved this man very very dearly. He was practically my father. He died of unknown causes, possibly heart failure, and was 49 years old. See my poem Seed of Love.
"Ribbon" I. - died 1986
this would have been my first child. Pre-birth name. 'Nuff said.
Eyovah (Barton Wendel) - April, 2000.
A dear friend from the Otherkin community, one of my Reiki mentors. There's a memorial website at the pages.
David Ben-Ami - July, 2000.
A model for behavior, a true mentor, and one of those people who should be sainted.
Diane Burke - died 1993
My godmother. She named me Chris. My mother named me Tina. Strangely, Aunt Diane always called me Tina thereafter, and my mother always called me Chris. She died of breast cancer.
Rich P. - June/July 2002?
Former co-worker & friend, introduced me to a bisexual discussion group. Suicide. Sorely missed. :(
Frank "Derek" H. - (from Long Island, NY) date unknown
A reformed alcoholic (at least while he was at the hospital), he died in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver (a la Blasphemous Rumors by Depeche Mode). He was a young adult (about 18-22) when he died. I heard about it a couple of years later. I have some pieces of his hideously grotesque artwork stashed away at home. Actually, I think there's one piece or two pieces that do not have violent and gory themes.
Rusty ?. - (from Mount Tremper, NY) date unknown
Fellow poet. Died in a car accident. The car ran off the road and hit (I believe) a pole. I was about 14 at the time, and he was the first person I knew that died. Having shared a part of my spirit with him a short time before the accident, this affected me profoundly. He was only about 18 or 19.
Dave ("Dave-o") - July, 2002
One of the offline Otherkin, seen at many a gather. Took his own life. :(
Patrice ?. - died 1996
Co-worker. A very sweet person. Too young to die of cancer (about 24).
Matthew B. - date unknown
My best friend & maid-of-honor's uncle. He died of a brain tumor at 19.
Ruth W. - date unknown, 1998.
I met her in my 8-month herbal medicine training class. She never told me she had breast cancer. She drove me home from class until she stopped showing up. Then, through a community newsletter, I found a poem by her son, in mourning, and a photo of the beautiful woman who was so kind to me. I have lost another friend.
H.K. - November, 2000.
The first person that I've known that I was on particularly bad terms with whom died to my knowledge. At least it shows me some contrast...and of course only emphasizes that one should make the best of every person and relationship.
John Hardy - September 11, 2001.
The brother of my favorite folk singer. I was at several shows over the years where he played accompanyment with Jack Hardy, and he is the only person I'm aware of who is missing after the collapse of the World Trade Center. He worked in a restauraunt in one of the towers. :(
Caren S. - 2006.
Died of breast cancer. One of my mother's longest friends, dating back to the 60's, she was there often in my childhood, a good influence on my life. I played with her children, and they had a very loving family.
Kareem "Lurch" Hanson (sp?) - Nov 2007.
Died in a car accident. An ex-roommate of a good friend.
Rev. Lucia Capodilupo - July 2009
This woman was an amazing minister, she married me and my ex husband. I'm still awed by our wedding ceremony to this day. Thank you for being the biggest inspiration for my ordination, and thank you for sharing your light with the world. I ordered your book and it will be here in 2 days -- it sounds wonderful. Thank you for leaving such a terrific legacy, for the blessings that certainly led to my son coming into the world in every way that he did, and for touching our lives. I am sad that I can't talk to you in person. See you soon in spirit.
EJ Maret - April 2010
I missed working with you. You helped me in so many ways, from breaking gender stereotypes to fierce love, and even accepting drug use, and much more. I don't think you'll ever know how you touched me, and I'm so sad to know you're gone now.
Jack Hardy - March 11, 2011
Not sure you knew my name. Sitting in pubs, following you all around NYC, memorizing your songs, dreaming of singing with you one day. Thank you for helping me re-find and heal my voice & my ability to sing in public spaces. Singing your songs around campfires, and those of your contemporaries, helped me recover from a deep stigmatizing & shaming trauma — and now you know.
Ernestine H.
I'm sorry if you felt excluded. I'm glad you made the best of your run with illness, and that you fought for as long as you did.
Steve D'Amato (Dec 2019)
Our first boyfriend. Lifelong friend. So accepting! A rock in our universe. The world was always a better place knowing you were in it, and we didn't want you as an angel — we preferred you as an earth-walker.
Edith Louise E. - Sara, Rose, Sydney, Stacey, Anemone… (March 2020)
You always had questions, and we didn't always have the answers. We hoped you would hold on and find what you needed, and the world failed you. We miss you dearly.
Richard C. (April 2020)
Thank you for your hospitality, your contributions, and especially your lifetime of caring for our amazing friend, Cindy, and your daughter.
Sorry you were in so much pain. Thank you for taking care of our best friend and companion. Rest peacefully.
Mark Bradley (August 19, 2021)
A brave soul in the DID community who helped others and put up a good fight. Met online, in person, and sad to see you go. COVID stole you from the world. You're missed.


Tiger - cat (the closest of all of my childhood pets)
Bandit - cat
Shadow - dog (actually, one of my ex-boyfriend's dogs)
Puck - mouse
Oh-cee (OutCast) - mouse
Tigris - (kitty) a male stray who adopted us when we moved to Middletown NY -- we gave him a good home through the winter of 2005-6, and in the late spring, he disappeared. He also brought another cat with him, Jingles.
Jingles - (kitty) in November 2006, Jingles disappeared. Jingles is an all-black cat who showed up, about 9-10 months old, after Tigris found us. The two obviously knew each other. Jingles had a red collar with a bell (so his name was Jingle Bells -- Jingles for short). He was quickly growing so we replaced the original belled collar with a red reflective collar, but he soon lost it and was very allergic to an herbal flea collar we tried out on him, so he went collarless against our better judgement. Jingles was very adept at climbing trees.
Cocoa Bear - (kitty) died on April 13, 2012 after a car accident. He was the most loving and sweet cat, and a terrific hunter. A good samaritan rescued him from the side of the road and brought him to the vet, who euthanatized him. It was the right choice, he was partially paralized, with internal injuries and I'm glad he didn't suffer needlessly. Then the samaritan came by our house, wondering if it was our cat she had found, and we got him from the vets and buried him and planted catnip over his grave. He was born in October 2006. Our partner still has his sister, Cinnamon, aka "Squeaky".
Gizmo - (kitty) missing 10/18/16 after she was last seen sitting in a tree complaining about something. I was on my way out for an appointment, tried talking her down, she just meowed at me. I needed to leave, couldn't make it to her through the poison ivy without problems, let someone in the house know she was being weird, but they didn't follow up with it and I haven't seen her since.
Talon - (kitty) she moved out with our partner to Long Island, and later got sick and didn't make it. :(
Squeaky (Cinnamon, kitty) - always wanting to go outside, in all weather, chase critters, and super-duper friendly. Miss combing your thick coat and giving you pets.

And all the other pets I have had (or known well) that for one reason or another either never had names, never died to my knowledge, or who belonged to other people & clients, so I'm not sure I have permission to post about your passing here.

See Also